She understood that even a bad impression was better than being unknown, better than being forgotten or overlooked.
因为她知道坏印象也好过默默无闻没有半点印象，也好过被淡忘，被遗忘。
She wanted Zhang Guoying to remember that during their time at the Imperial Academy, a girl named Cui Yu had loved him with deep, passionate, and unyielding devotion.
她就是要让张国英以后如果但凡想到自己在京师学堂的学业时光，就会想到在这里曾经有那么个女孩名叫崔玉，爱他，爱得惊天动地，爱得痴心妄想。
Regardless of whether Zhang Guoying held even the slightest affection for her, she aimed to plant a seed of love for him in his heart.
不管他张国英会不会对自己有那么一丁点好感，自己也要在张国英心中种下一颗自己爱他的种子。
After all, it''s difficult for anyone to despise someone who truly loves them.
因为对一个爱自己的人，但凡是人都很难真正地讨厌吧！
For Cui Yu, this was a high-stakes gamble. She risked her reputation and was determined, for the time being, to hold on to this one lifeline until she could find a better one. This strategy was akin to the saying, "A talented bird chooses the best tree to perch on, and a wise minister chooses the best lord to serve."
这对于我崔玉来说是一次豪赌，我赌上了自己的名声，也打算暂时就在这一棵树上吊死，直到我能找到另外一棵更好的树，这就是所谓的良禽择木而栖，贤臣择主而事的谋略。
This high-stakes gamble tested my ability to judge people and my own wisdom. Although it seemed I had won the bet, the chaos of war had taken its toll. How many people were displaced?
这一次的豪赌赌的是我自己看人的眼光，赌的是我自己的智慧，而我似乎赌赢了，战火烽烟，多少人流离失所？
How many lives were sacrificed as the old and new dynasties clashed for power? How many blood-soaked bones were trampled upon to establish the new Old Dynasty?
新旧王权的更替，又埋了多少白骨? 又是踏上了多少血淋淋的尸骨才建立起来的新的旧王朝？
In times of prosperity, the people suffer; in times of decline, they also suffer. The Cui family did not take sides, but we were still caught up in the conflict.
兴，百姓苦; 亡，百姓苦。崔家没有站队，但是也受到了牵连。
During the siege, we had no choice but to flee the violence and abandon our centuries-old Cui Mansion, wandering the lands in search of refuge.
就在这一次攻城中，我们为了逃难，逃避战火的伤害，只得丢弃了百年繁华的崔宅，四处流浪。
However, it was crucial for the prestigious Cui family to maintain a presence in the capital city, so I volunteered for the task.
但是百年世家的崔家不可能不留一个人守在京城，而我就是那个自告奋勇的人。
My aunt and the rest of the Cui family had also left, perhaps seeking refuge in areas untouched by war.
姑姑也离开了，所有的人都离开了崔家，也许那些人都离开了京城，跑到了那些没有战火的地方去了。
Only my personal maid, and I remained, along with a few skilled martial arts servants guarding the vast Cui Mansion.